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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23360320">What Peter Didn't Do in Far From Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchyscrolls/pseuds/sketchyscrolls'>sketchyscrolls</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), References to Depression, Tony Stark Has A Heart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:00:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23360320</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchyscrolls/pseuds/sketchyscrolls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Endgame, Peter Parker is alone.</p><p>Or: Tony Stark is dead, and Peter is grieving another lost father figure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ned Leeds &amp; Peter Parker, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Peter Didn't Do in Far From Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: I cried while writing this. After I watched Far From Home, I was dissatisfied with how Peter was responding to Tony's death. This is what I wish would've happened.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He still had the nightmares from that day. The day he came back. The day everything was finally finished...</p><p>including Tony Stark.</p><p>The day that Peter came back was the same day that his mentor -- no, his father -- lost his life. Peter sometimes wished he'd never come back at all.</p><p>He was in the tower, just... Throwing a ball against the floor. He watched it ricochet off the wall, and then caught it again, repeating this action as he thought about what happened as he had every single day since that horrible fight.</p><p>He hated it. Being alive, when Tony wasn't. He still had to go to school, even despite the week off he got for "losing a family member." But that week was gone now. And Peter was finding that the homework he previously could do without trouble was becoming more and more difficult as the days went by.</p><p>Every now and then, his aunt May would check in on him, make sure he'd eaten, showered, had some water... Because Peter wasn't making sure of these things for himself. He didn't think about replenishing the water he'd lost from crying, because who would think of that when the person they had come to know as their father had died? Peter's own father wasn't even there to comfort him in this time. Ben wasn't either. The only hope he'd had was gone, in having a father, and he couldn't take it.</p><p>He just couldn't.</p><p>At first, he had cried, felt all the deep sadness and grief, and held on tightly to his friends and family, afraid of losing anyone else. But now... He was just numb. Numb, but somehow, still in pain. He bit into his cheek as he kept throwing the ball. He threw it harder. And harder. And harder. Until it bounced so hard it shot into the air higher than he could reach from where he was sitting.</p><p>It rolled across the floor, but Peter just glared at the wall in front of him. His grip on the chair tightened until he bent the handle of it, and then he stood up, completely overcome by anger, and hurled the chair across the room, where it crashed through the opposite wall, the legs of the chair becoming lodged between the holes that were created from the force of the throw. Peter turned around and kicked multiple holes in the wall, threw another chair, and then just fell to his knees and let out a shriek of utter grief, despair, and pain.</p><p>He was angry at the tears that flowed down his cheeks, angry at how much everyone cared about him, angry at how he still had to go to school after all this shit went down.</p><p>He was angry at himself.</p><p> </p><p>Angry that he couldn't have done anything to stop Tony, because he, himself, had been dead while that whole battle was being planned. Angry that he was still alive, when it should've been he who had taken Tony's place.</p><p>Finally letting his tears flow freely, Peter brought his knees to his chest, hugged them tightly, and sobbed quietly as he rocked himself forward and backward, letting out these emotions yet again. He had these breakdowns every week, sometimes every other day, because of how utterly devastated he was.</p><p>Nothing mattered anymore, because the only person Peter had ever known as a father was dead.</p><p>"Peter?"</p><p>Ned.</p><p>"They... sent me in here to try and help you, man. I... I know it's tough, what happened... But I also know you're a strong guy. The strongest one I know, and I don't just mean physically. I'm here for you if you want to tal--"</p><p>"Just get out of here! Leave me alone, I deserve to suffer, I KILLED IRON MAN."</p><p>Ned flinched at this, but he kept trying, because seeing his friend in so much pain made him want to help. </p><p>"You didn't kill him, Peter. He chose to sacrifice himself in order to save you and an entire half of our entire population. He died a hero, and he wanted you alive more than anything. The people we knew before the Blip, they didn't see him for all those years because he had holed himself up in his house, with his wife, had a kid, and distanced himself from everybody. Don't you think he felt the exact same way you do right now? He couldn't live with the fact that you didn't make it out of that last fight." Ned placed a hand on Peter's shoulder, and when he felt how violently Peter was trembling, he squeezed his friend's shoulder comfortingly.</p><p>Having difficulty getting words out, now that he was hysterically sobbing, Peter stuttered over his response. "I... I-I just can't handle this, Ned. H-he was all I h-had...! I can't-t... I can't j-just move on-n-- He was my d-dad, Ned! I... I can't..." </p><p>"Shh, it's okay. Just let it out -- I'm here for you, man." Ned patted Peter's shoulder, only to have Peter look up at him with completely heartbroken bloodshot eyes, the emotion glittering in his brown irises. It hurt to see Peter like this. </p><p>Peter gracelessly wrapped his arms around Ned's torso and buried his face in the fabric of his friend's button-up, sobbing without restraint as Ned awkwardly patted his back. And as Peter finally let out all these emotions, he realized just how distant he had been to everyone around him. He pulled back and wiped his face on the sleeve of the sweatshirt he had now worn for three days straight. </p><p>"Ugh, I'm... I'm sorry, Ned, I've been such an asshole -- I ignored you for two months, I... I can't believe you still want to be my friend. I'm so sorry."</p><p>Ned shook his head. "It's fine, Peter. Nobody blamed you. Didn't you notice everyone at school backed off? They saw how much you were hurting, and they didn't want to cause you any more turmoil than you were already experiencing. It's okay, Peter. Everyone understands." </p><p>Peter swallowed, and then attempted to catch his breath, before looking up at the doorway, where Nick Fury, Happy, and his aunt May stood, watching this all go down. He looked down, ashamed at himself. "I... I'm sorry, guys." He got up, and hugged May first, and then for the hell of it, he hugged Happy too. And then when he got to Nick Fury, he paused for a moment, but then thought it'd be awkward if he didn't, so he ended up hugging him too. It was very awkward. </p><p>"I'll... Try to be better. But, um... May, I'm... I'm really hungry," he said. "Can we go get something? I... would've eaten earlier, but I didn't want to get up and... well... You know." </p><p>May nodded and wrapped an arm around his shoulders comfortingly. "Don't worry, Peter. I understand."</p>
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